Games Beaten 2017

[MrPopo]

I've actually managed to avoid all of the Ubisoft games themselves because none of them have seemed interesting to me. But Horizon Zero Dawn definitely had the towers and mapsplosions. Though at least the towers in that game made you work to get to them; they could walk.

[isiolia]

Main thing that HZD has going for it in that respect is that any given activity/feature only has relatively few examples, and they're kept pretty unique. If there were 20 or 30 Tallnecks instead of five, they'd get tedious.
I think BoTW did much the same with its towers - most of them had some unique aspect to account for when trying to climb 'em.

[BogusMeatFactory]

Main thing that HZD has going for it in that respect is that any given activity/feature only has relatively few examples, and they're kept pretty unique. If there were 20 or 30 Tallnecks instead of five, they'd get tedious.
I think BoTW did much the same with its towers - most of them had some unique aspect to account for when trying to climb 'em.

I am glad they puzzle-ized the towers in breath of the wild. It would have been a pretty redundant experience otherwise.

[dsheinem]

Games Beaten 2017
Inside - PS4
Street Fighter V - PS4
TIMEframe - PC
Rituals - PC
Mother Russia Bleeds - PC
Horizon: Zero Dawn - PS4
The Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild - Switch
Here They Lie - PSVR *new*

Total: 8

Previously: 2016 2015 2014 2013 2012 2011 2010

This game has a lot of really haunting and trippy imagery, and delivers a creepy mood and a sense of dread fairly well in the VR space. The red light district stuff was especially surreal, and if it weren't for some wonky control issues and a few too many "grey sewer" type levels, I'd be able to give this one a recommendation to anyone. Still, if you like more avant-garde horror stuff and/or want to see how the genre is transitioning to VR, this is not one to miss. Some pics from my trip...

[BogusMeatFactory]

1. Captain Toad (WiiU)
2. Lost: Via Domus (PS3)[/url]3. Modnation Racers (PS3)
4. Tron: Evolution (PS3)
5. Dead Rising (PC)
6. Fire Emblem Heroes (Android)7. Yoshi’s Wooly World (Wii U)
8. Stanley Parable (PC)9. Lone Wolf: Flight From the Dark (Android)
10. Lone Wolf: Fire on the Water (Android)
11. Lone Wolf: The Caverns of Kalte (Android)12. Lone Wolf: The Chasm of Doom (Android)
13. Lone Wolf: Shadow on the Sand (Android)
14. Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild (Switch)
15. LoneWolf: Kingdoms of Terror(Android)
16. Plumbers Don’t Wear Ties (PC)

Kingdoms of Terror - Now that I have the book of Magnakai, I find that it is incomplete and need to recover various Lorestones from around the world, the first being in a war torn city and adventure and danger ensue!

Plumbers Don't Wear Ties - Thanks to Archive.org procuring procuring this hidden gem that is insanely rare on PC. Plumbers Don't Wear Ties is an interactive movie where you play as John and Jane as they go through their life and you try to get them together. At your side is two warring narrators that fight. The game has a lot of man-ass and images of said man in his underwear resting his junk on dumbells, hiding his junk underneath a towel and washing his junk in the shower. It also has the same image of a woman's side-boob played over and over again a million times dispersed amidst said junk.

The truth is that this is some psychotic fever dream after smoking too much peyote with a band of traveling midget luchadors. There are only 6 total choices to make in the game and has a run time of roughly 20 minutes. It is as if someone wanted to make a thinly veiled homoerotic video game with a budget of about 10 dollars. This is the, "The Room," of video games. It is without question one of the most useless things ever to exist in the form of interactive media.

For instance, the entirety of the game revolves around Jane wanted to get a job, being denied it and then being sexually assaulted, running away as her job interviewer chases her with a knife and a whacky chase ensues and you kiss the girl in the end.

As John, you can choose to distract the killer/rapist and the game decides that your distraction is to talk about motorcycles, have the boss grab his own dick and you both make out and walk off into the sunset.

The narrator in the game will tell you how shitty of a job you do, regardless of whether you are doing the right decisions or not and he does so with a helicopter pilot's helmet on, a chicken head on and sandals... and there is a competing female narrator that wears a karate gi and a dress that flashes her crotch constantly...oh and the male narrator shoots the female narrator with a gun.

This is... a fucked up game.

[Michi]

Plumbers Don’t Wear Ties

Dear god... It sound like the plot to a movie Ack would subject himself to...

Actually, it sounds kind of worse.

[Exhuminator]

This is... a fucked up game.

But did the plumbers wear ties?

[BogusMeatFactory]

This is... a fucked up game.

But did the plumbers wear ties?

John is the plumber and a biker and he is wearing a white t-shirt and a polka dot tie his mom got him.

[BoneSnapDeez]

I've said it before: the best part of that game is the schlocky early-90s QVC/sitcom style muzak. It's brilliant. I downloaded the soundtrack.

[Exhuminator]

16. Blaster Master Zero | 3DS | action adventure | 2017 | 6hrs 27mns | 9/10

If you grew up with the NES as a kid, surely you've at least heard of Blaster Master, the platformer-shooter hybrid of yore. Sunsoft released it in 1988, and although it bombed in Japan, the USA ate it up. Yes, Blaster Master sold well enough in the USA that Sunsoft attempted multiple sequels. Games such as Blaster Master Boy (GB), Blaster Master 2 (Genesis), Blaster Master: Enemy Below (GBC), Blaster Master: Blasting Again (PS1), and Blaster Master: Overdrive (WiiWare) all tried and failed to capture the spirit of the original. But now finally, so many years later, a talented Japanese studio has managed to recapture the spirit of the original indeed. But how do you improve on such a beloved classic? You leave what works, fix what didn't, and add some modern flair. That's exactly what Inti Creates has done with Blaster Master Zero.



If you asked anybody who played the original Blaster Master what's the one thing that could make it better, they'd likely say the ability to save your progress. It was a true travesty that the original (rather long) game had no way to save or even generate a password. I'm happy to report that Blaster Master Zero allows you to save your game often. Now if that's all Inti Creates had brought to the remake, that'd still be job done. But no, this team has gone above the call of duty. Sure the graphics are touched up and the audio is remixed, all for the better. But the additions go well beyond something so typical as that.



For starters the story has been fleshed out significantly, you've got more complex cutscenes now, as well as in-game dialogue with talking heads. A new plot character is added as well, tying nicely into later series entries' lore. A built-in map makes tracking your progress through this metroidvania-lite far easier than ever before. There's also a waypoint indicator to keep the player on track. Those additions and more (a BIG more, but I don't want to spoil it) take Zero a serious step forward from its predecessor. Playing this game does not feel like you're playing an exhumed relic, but rather a modern indie title with high polish.



However I do have a small complaint. Blaster Master Zero started off as a 3DS project, but towards the end, Inti Creates decided to make the Switch the target platform. In doing so, they neglected any special features the 3DS offers. With 3DS that means you don't get a 3D effect, nor does the bottom screen show your map as you play on the top screen. In contrast, the Switch version does offer some extra benefits, such as co-op play (the second player gets a shooting reticle on screen) and detailed HD rumble effects. I just think it's disingenuous to give the Switch priority with proprietary features, while neglecting the obvious 3DS improvements that could have been easily implemented. So if you've got the choice, go with the Switch version.



Platform specific gripes aside let me be crystal clear; I LOVED BLASTER MASTER ZERO. Playing this was pure bliss from start to finish. We're talking unceasing creativity, balanced challenge, addictive progression, and gameplay polished to a sheen. You'll be surprised how deep BMZ's world can suck you in, very impressive immersion all things considered. Not to mention the dozens of glorious boss fights, puzzles, and crazy special weapons. As someone who fondly remembers the original game, I couldn't have asked for a better remake than Zero. If you can appreciate classic game design with a modern twist, then you absolutely must play Blaster Master Zero. Inti Creates have outdone themselves here folks.



Some spoilerly thoughts on beating it:

I got the "bad" end. I understand to get the "good" end, you've got to get every power up available. Then you get to go to a whole new area plus a new final final boss that (as I understand it) wasn't in the original game. I will probably go back eventually to pull off the "good" ending, but I'm taking a break for now, phew!