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I guess Bowser is in Gears of War?

Xeogred wrote:I guess Bowser is in Gears of War?

After five months of poor Wii U sales, he had to look for part-time work to make ends meet, unfortunately. Epic Games made him a fair offer for a supporting role.

Games Beaten in 2016 So Far - 101

January (20 Games Beaten)


February (8 Games Beaten)


March (8 Games Beaten)


April (13 Games Beaten)


May (6 Games Beaten)


June (13 Games Beaten)


July (7 Games Beaten)


August (15 Games Beaten)


September (8 Games Beaten)


October (3 Games Beaten)


101. Ninja Pizza Girl - Wii U - October 8



Ninja Pizza Girl is a game I have been awaiting for a long time, and it's a game for which I was actually pretty hyped. I back this game on Kickstarter however many years ago the campaign was ongoing. It was a cool concept - a platformer based around a ninja who delivers pizza. Since I delivered pizza at the time, I was interested. One of the few surprising cases where a Kickstarter campaign actually delivers the promised product, I was eager to download this on my Wii U when I got my code, especially since I'd played the Steam demo a year or so ago and liked what I saw. I should have taken it as an omen when the North American eShop screwed up and wouldn't let me download the game for two days. I REALLY wanted to like this game. Unfortunately, I just can't.



At first glance, the game plays a lot like a low budget 2D Mirror's Edge. The first problem that you will notice is the frame rate. I'm not sure if this is exclusive to Wii U or if other platforms have this issue, but the game ran at 15-20 fps pretty much the whole time. I've read that it runs MUCH smoother on PC, and I don't remember a frame rate issue when I played on Steam, but it's rough on Wii U. The visuals don't impress at all, and while I naturally cut some slack for indie games, both the character models and the environments just feel bland and uninspired. One big plus in the game's favor, in my opinion, however, is the soundtrack. The sound effects are so-so, but the music is pretty good, ranging from subdued to outright dubstep. It's not going to be everyone's cup of tea, but it's definitely mine.



The writing in the game is okay, I guess, but the writing is also where we get to what made me REALLY want to like the game. The central message of the game is about bullying, and while that's a fairly cliché theme, it's an important one that I don't think gets stressed enough, especially with the game's focus on empowering victims. Even if I don't like the game as a game - and despite my efforts, I definitely do not - I respect the hell out of it and the small team that made it for one single scene. At the end of one of your deliveries, you deliver to a woman who asks you to wait a minute when you knock on the door (she was getting dressed, apparently). When she opens the door, she mentions that she hadn't had a chance to go shopping for clothes since she transitioned and that it was hard to find a way to feel feminine in men's clothing. Your character tells her that she shouldn't worry about that because clothes aren't what make one masculine or feminine. That was it, end of scene. What struck me was its normality. In the same way that Mass Effect included blatantly gay characters but presented in a way that made it a normal, unnoteworthy part of life, Ninja Pizza Girl did that with a transgender character. The scene wasn't particularly skillfully written as it's very abrupt and obvious about the point it's trying to make, but it's still a step in the right direction. As one who has a good number of dearly loved transgender friends, I appreciated that. A lot. Even if it's in an indie game that doesn't run particularly well and that most people will never play, normalizing transgender people is something that I will always respect and appreciate the developers for including.



Between the performance issues, the bland visuals, and okay-I-guess quality of the writing, I just can't make myself like this game. I really want to; even if the writing isn't particularly good, I can appreciate the attempt to craft a socially aware and progressive plot and dialogue for the game. Unfortunately, the gameplay just doesn't back it up. Perhaps on PC with the absence of the performance issues, I could look at this game a bit more favorably, but on Wii U, I just can't recommend it.

I can confirm the PC version does not suffer from slowdown. It plays extremely smooth on Steam and it helps live up to the notion of a 2D Mirror's Edge.

First 50:

51. Ori and the Blind Forest - Xbox One
52. AM2R - PC
53. Total Annihilation - PC
54. I Am Setsuna - PS4
55. Planetary Annihilation Titans - PC
56. Deus Ex: Mankind Divided - PC
57. Dark Reign - Rise of the Shadowhand - PC
58. Dragon Age Inquisition - Jaws of Hakkon - PC
59. Dragon Age Inquisition - The Descent - PC
60. Dragon Age Inquisition - Trespasser - PC
61. The Witcher 3 - Hearts of Stone - PC
62. The Witcher 3 - Blood & Wine - PC
63. ReCore - Xbox One
64. Final Fantasy Tactics - PS1

Let me preface this by saying that the Tactics-style SRPGs have never really grabbed me. My first real exposure was FFTA, which I beat using save states, then a bunch of abortive attempts at TO: Knight of Lodis, and finally I managed to make it through Luminous Arc. Through it all I just never seem to get into the general battle system. I'm not sure what it is specifically about it, as I adore both Shining Force and Fire Emblem. Maybe it's just how the battle system seems to always favor the computer; you have very little ability to channel enemies into favorable encounters and attacks never feel satisfying.

But I decided to give it one more chance with the current Together RPG selection. I've heard this one is the pinnacle of its sub genre (or at least shares the crown with the original Tactics Ogre, which is also on my list to beat to give the genre a chance). I figured if I couldn't get into this one then the genre is as good as dead to me. And after finishing this I can say I enjoyed it, but the genre is still not for me.

The reason for that distinction is that FFT is one of the most broken games Square has ever released. And I mean that in the sense of FF2 and 8, where if you understand the underlying systems you can quickly raise yourself to godlike levels and steamroll over everything in your path. Except unlike those first two, FFT seems to want to hand you those things on a silver platter. Specifically, there's a job that obviously didn't go through any level of balancing whatsoever. I'm speaking, of course, of the Calculator, who's main skill is to utterly break the rules governing magic to keep it balanced. Imagine being able to cast the most powerful magic without using MP or needing to charge and being able to hit all enemies on screen at once. That is the power of Math Skill.

With hilariously busted abilities in hand I rolled my way through the game, allowing me to focus on the game's story. In terms of complexity it easily puts Fire Emblem to shame; you are a small part of the overall realpolitik raging around you. While two nation states war you find yourself drawn into the plans of those who have worked behind the scenes to spark the conflict for their own desires. But because of how behind the curtain your activities are you end up as a footnote in history. I'd call it the most realistic of the Final Fantasy stories.

I still plan on doing Tactics Ogre, but this game confirmed my feelings on the overall Tactics genre. I just don't dig the gameplay; it was only through breaking the game that I enjoyed this one, and I imagine the only reason I'll enjoy Tactics Ogre is the links to the other Ogre Battle games (which are lacking in Knight of Lodis).

Also, if you do play this one, stay for the scene after the credits.

Partridge Senpai's 2016 Beaten List
1-50

51. Axiom Verge
52. Otomedius Excellent
53. JUMP Ultimate Stars

54. Dynasty Warriors 3 (Xbox)

I always hear people online like Totalbiscuit and Jim Sterling talking about how much they love Dynasty Warriors, so it's always made me wanna try them. I looked up some stuff about them, and 3 seemed to be a pretty good place to start, other than just buying the most recent game in the series (which seemed to be the actually most common recommendation). There was much frustration at losings, and this game certainly has its problems, but I actually had quite a lot of fun with it . For reference, I played through as the Wei Empire as Dian Wei.

We're gonna start off with my problems with the game, for no particular reason. First off, I'd imagine that most people who've played more recent 3rd person action games are going to take big issue with the camera, and rightfully so. The camera really feels too zoomed in sometimes, and the ONLY way to reposition it is to hit the L button, but that's also your jumping recovery button, so often, you're just SOL and gotta deal with fighting towards the camera (the R-stick literally does nothing for some reason O.o ). Other technical problems include the fact that even though the draw distance isn't huge, I very often ran into problems where not every soldier actually present at my location wasn't being shown because of hardware limitations. This wasn't usually a problem, as their is a radar you can change to be either map-wide or just a local area, and using the radar to get a better idea of how many soldiers are actually around you is a good tip. That radar is especially good for tracking when enemy generals and officers are near, as they appear as white dots that blink red, which is only confusing because friendly officers also appear as white dots, but ones that blink blue :/

The control issues don't really stop there, but not for technical reasons. For a game that is not only a sequel to a very similar game but also a game that came out in 2002, this game does an inexcusable job of telling you how to play: It doesn't tell you jack shit. In my stubbornness, I refused to look at the manual and basically just spent the first hour or so of the game just getting a handle on how to actually play. Now, the actual controls aren't that hard to figure out, but its the overarching game strategies that will likely take you longer to figure out.

You level up as you kill soldiers, and if you kill more, you'll get stronger. You can also get straight up stat buffs from killing enemy generals, officers, and gate guardians, as well as new weapons and passive items to equip. Now, even though it numerically shows your EXP-gain from killing mans at the end of battle, (I'm like 99% sure) you actually do get stronger in real time, but there's no way to really know that other than the fact that you'll notice you're killing enemies quicker, or not getting staggered as much. Additionally, at first, the battles really feel like there's a sense of urgency to them, as you get notifications like, "X-general's troop is in trouble!" which will constantly make you think you're losing. However, there are hard time limits on battles, with fairly easy to understand win/lose conditions, so generally, you want to kill as many enemy soldiers, officers, etc. to level up as much as possible, because otherwise you just will not be strong enough to do the later missions, some of which do require some element of speed.

Now onto what I really love about this game, and that's the style, concept, and gameplay. The whole concept and style of the game is that you're fighting the on-foot battles of what would be larger strategic affairs in the Romance of the Three Kingdoms setting. As a result, though it takes a little while to get used to, there's just something so satisfying about fighting a massive battle with thousands of troops as just one uber-troop on the field. The strategy that you have to develop after (usually) several tries at a map, based on which allied NPC's tend to start having trouble and where, and how best to hit up all of the enemy generals in the most advantageous situations. For a game about mostly just mashing the X-button, there's a lot more strategy involved than I first thought.

The combat also has a surprising amount of nuance to it. Though you'll be initially expecting that the best way to go forward, is just to mash the x-button like crazy. But not mashing it so fast won't go through your entire combo and makes it so your down-time before you can attack again is much lesser, meaning you can keep on top of a blocking opponent much harder (I don't believe there's any way for the player to block attacks, at least not that I could suss out. It's a bit like God Hand in that way). Additionally, you also have your Musou (warrior) attack, which is one you can activate once you build up the Musou gauge by striking enemy soldiers. Your Musou attack breaks you out of staggers, and almost always has some crowd-clearing element, so fighting generals in a sea of their own troops to keep your Musou gauge topped up can actually be a legitimate strategy. There's also a charge attack of some sort, but I never actually figured out how to use it effectively, so I'll refrain from commenting on it. I certainly know the enemy knows how to use it though! They beat my face in with it a whoooole lot Xp

The last bit that I love is the setting and style, which this game is just oozing with. It's Romance of the Three Kingdoms, so it's based on real events that took place after the fall of Han China. For a history nerd like me, this stuff is sooo cool. Being real generals and fighting hand to hand (admittedly in a very unrealistic and exaggerated fashion, but still) in real places is just such a cool thing to me. The game's graphics are okay for an Xbox game with a scale like this. The most important thing is that the generals look pretty darn good, and the use of a color palatte in their design is also well used, so nothing (other than the ground textures) is too hideous to look at.

Verdict: Somewhat recommended. As my lengthy problems section trys to get across, this game has a lot of problems, which make it difficult to objectively recommend across the board. However, as a fan of action games and historical fiction games, I enjoyed this game to pieces, and if you are as well, then I think you'll likely get at least some enjoyment out of it. And if this game's mechanics are too obtuse, then trying one of the more recent entries which are just as cheap is also a safe option

1: Rakugaki Ninja (Mac)
2: Doukutsu Monogatari (Cave Story) (Mac)
3: Dimahoo (ARC)
4: Rez (DC)
5: L.O.L.: Lack of Love (DC)
6: Rockman 7: Shukumei no Taiketsu! (SFC)
7: Ganbare! Daiku no Gen-san (SFC)
8: Super Metroid (SFC)
9: Dragon Force (Saturn)
10: Rocket Knight Adventures (GEN)
11: Quackshot: Starring Donald Duck (GEN)
12: Mario Story (Paper Mario) (N64)
13: Rockman & Forte (SFC)
14: Sparkster (GEN)
15: Lumino City (Steam)
16: Braid (Mac)
17: Kirby: Air Ride (GCN)
18: Billy Hatcher and the Giant Egg (GCN)
19: Starfox Assault (GCN)
20: Terra Phantastica (Saturn)
21: Pikmin (GCN)
22: Doubutsu Banchou (Cubivore) (GCN)
23: Eternal Darkness: Manekareta 13-nin (GCN)
24: Dragon Slayer: Eiyuu Densetsu (MD)
25: Densetsu no Ogre Battle: The March of the Black Queen (Saturn)
26: Cibele (Mac)
27: Linda Cube - Kanzenban (Saturn)
28: Sonic the Hedgehog (MD-JP)
29: Pulseman (MD)
30: Surging Aura (MD)
31: Pu-Li-Ru-La (Saturn)
32: Purikula Daisakusen (Saturn)
33: Daytona USA (Saturn)
34: MegaMan ZX (DS)
35: Red Arimer II (Gargoyle's Quest II) (FC)
36: Valkyrie no Bouken: Toki no Kagi Densetsu (FC)
37: Hi no Tori - Hou-ou Hen: Gaou no Bouken (FC)
38: DuckTales (NES)
39: Chip 'n Dale: Rescue Rangers (NES)
40: Groove on Fight: Gouketsuji Ichizoku 3 (Saturn)
41: Omakase! Savers (Saturn)
42: Hamelin no Violin-hiki (SFC)
43: Dark Half (SFC)
44: Alcahest (SFC)
45: Super Mario World: SMB 4 (SFC)
46: MIckey's Magical Adventure (SFC)
47: Dragon Quest III (SFC)
48: The Great Circus Mystery Starring Mickey & Minnie (GEN)
49: Gyakuten Saiban 3 (DS)
50: Dynamite Deka 2 (DC)
51: Digital Devil Story: Megami Tensei II (FC)

Updating the list.

I finished DDS II, and have to say that I'm a bit disappointed. The Digital Devil Story games aren't really cinematic like the Final Fantasies of the world, but the first DDS drew it's story and setting from an OVA which was itself based on a book. DDS II is an original story, however, and doesn't have the benefit of a source material to kind of fill in the holes. For the first two-thirds of the game, the story is very compelling, and then it felt to me as if the developers abandoned the thread they were on in order to arbitrarily lengthen the game (for reasons I don't understand, because it went on for way too long), and never feels like it pulls things together for some connection between the task you set out on, and the end result. (Without spoiling things, there are some tenuous connections, but they don't feel valuable.) Ultimately the story is a bit of a wash, because the game ends up pitting the player against a bunch of bosses for optics alone, and no real consequence to the plot. It feels climactic, but upon inspection, is rather unsatisfying. It was also brought to my attention, after finishing the game, that DDS II, and SMT I, don't really have any plot that relates the story to the series' title, unlike the first DDS.

As far as playing the game goes, it's a nice package. The graphics, and especially the sound are very good for the NES/Famicom. It plays well (I didn't encounter any bugs, and it runs smoothly), and the battle system is based on wholesome, good ol' fashioned monster melding. Ever wanted to make Vishnu or Ganesha fight alongside Odin or Thor? This game allows one to do that. There's also some min/max-ing of equipment based on magical resistances, and enemies' weaknesses to either guns or "swords" (becomes rather important in the late game), and a boatload of flashing, monster nipples.

For me, the upsetting part is that the only thing that sets DDS II apart from other games in the series is the extra sound hardware (which makes for a really great soundtrack). Otherwise, SMT I is very nearly the same story with better graphics (smoother dungeon crawling in particular), fewer hidden stats, more nuance to player/monster alignment, branching story, and without the superfluous bits in the last third of DDS II.

It pains me that this is the case, but I would ultimately recommend DDS I or SMT I over DDS II.


Since it's getting to be that time of the year, I'm diving into Biohazard 2 next.

MrPopo wrote:I can confirm the PC version does not suffer from slowdown. It plays extremely smooth on Steam and it helps live up to the notion of a 2D Mirror's Edge.

Yeah, I played a few levels of the Steam version just now to compare, and it feels like a totally different experience. DEFINITELY play it on Steam.

First 50:

51. Akumajō Dracula (Famicom Disk System)
52. Castlevania (NES)
53. Classic NES Series: Castlevania (Game Boy Advance)
54. Guardian Heroes (Xbox Live Arcade)
55. Metal Slug (Neo Geo MVS)
56. Metal Slug 2 (Neo Geo MVS)
57. Metal Slug 3 (Neo Geo MVS)
58. Soul of Darkness (DSiWare)
59. Code of Princess (3DS)
60. Super Mario Bros. 3 (NES)
61. Super Mario Land (Game Boy)
62. The Legend of Zelda 2: Link no Bōken (Famicom Disk System)
63. Phantasy Star Online: Blue Burst (PC)
64. Shan Gui (Steam)
65. Space Fury (ColecoVision)
66. Smurf: Rescue in Gargamel's Castle (ColecoVision)
67. Gateway to Apshai (ColecoVision)
68. MURI (Steam)
69. Pink Hour (Steam)
70. Pink Heaven (Steam)
71. Planetarian: The Reverie of a Little Planet (Steam)
72. Princess Remedy in a World of Hurt (Steam)
73. Haunted House (Atari 2600)
74. Gremlins (Atari 2600)
75. Alien (Atari 2600)
76. Xenophobe (Xbox - Midway Arcade Treasures 2)
77. Frankenstein's Monster (Atari 2600)
78. Ghost Manor / Spike's Peak (Atari 2600)

The last of my spooky Atari games before I move on to 8-bit land with Castlevania II.

This is one of the strangest carts in my collection. It's double-ended, which is exactly what it sounds like. There are two sets of contact pins. After you play one game, flip the cart to play the other. I'm not sure what's inside, perhaps there are two boards separated by plastic or dead space, or just one really long board.

Anyhow, I suppose I could have counted this as two games as they were both released separately during the same year. But they're so similar they end up feeling like two interconnected mini-games (think Kirby Super Star) so one entry it is.

So, Ghost Manor is the main attraction here. I find that whenever I play some random third party Atari game it falls into one of two categories - 1) simplistic as shit or 2) obtuse as hell and requiring instructions. Ghost Manor most certainly falls into the latter categorization. There's little on-screen direction, and at one point I mistook a Game Over screen for the ending screen! Thankfully, instructions are available online and even Wikipedia provides a thorough description of each of the five stages.

Five stages. That's a bit of a misnomer - more like five "screens" strung together, all of which must be completed within a strict time limit (you have perhaps six minutes total).

The game begins in a graveyard and the protagonist is... a little girl! And she's huge! Yeah, the sprites in the game are nice and chunky. Pretty impressive, actually. Now, you can play as a boy who instead must save the girl; this change is triggered by switching from color to black & white mode on your 2600. However, should you play on a 7800 you'll notice that this key is lacking and you must be the lil Goldilocks lookalike. She's cooler anyway. The graveyard is inhabited by a rainbow-colored ghost. My first instinct was to avoid it, but nope, you gotta get all up in that ghost's personal space. Touching the ghost gives you ammo for the next level (obviously). And the hits only connect properly if contact is made with the ghost on top of a tombstone.

Level two is a sort of fixed shooter à la Space Invaders. There are numerous ghouls running around some scaffolding while a giant skeleton patrols the ground level. Only the skeleton can cause damage - with an ax. He needs to be taken out, but he's immune until the ghouls are shot down first. Are you seeing why I needed the instruction booklet?

Next is the mansion, which makes up levels three and four. The ultimate goal here is to ascend to level five. There's a section of the wall that keeps moving and must be avoided - everything that touches you in this game is a one-hit kill. Coffins must be plundered to locate a cross, necessary for the final confrontation with Dracula. It's tricky to find, as it shuffles around to a random location each time the game is reset.

The climax is a battle with the evil vampire himself. It's the low point of the whole game, really. What you have to do is freeze him with a cross and then push him into an empty jail cell. Sounds simple but the controls are really butchered here. This part took me 15 attempts or so and even when I was successful I have no idea what happened. In the world of Atari Logic, tossing Dracula into a cell releases the boy from his cell and the ending sequence commences. The game contains some really swell music, especially the rendition of "Taps" heard at Game Over. Day is done, indeed.

Aside from the final boss, this is a thoroughly enjoyable game. It's always refreshing to find an Atari game with some semblance of flow and structure, as opposed to just one level looping (though I certainly enjoy those as well). Seems like 1983 is the year these longer and more complex games started becoming more common. Ghost Manor is no Haunted House but it's certainly one of the better second gen horror games I've played.

Now... the mountain-climbing platformer Spike's Peak. Similar format to Ghost Manor - five unique levels with an ending. Palindromic developer Xonox really half-assed this one though. The first stage is nothing but a glorified title screen, and the final one consists of nothing but walking to the right hoping that there's some time left on the clock. That leaves stages two, three, and four - all of which are absolute disasters in terms of both programming and aesthetics. By sheer luck I was able to complete the game. Where the protagonist commences to collapse in exhaustion. Nice.

In summation, of the two Ghost Manor is the only one worth sinking any time into. As mentioned, it was sold separately but it's about twice as expensive as the double-ended cart. Just get that instead and say no to flipping it.

Games Beaten in 2016 So Far - 102

January (20 Games Beaten)


February (8 Games Beaten)


March (8 Games Beaten)


April (13 Games Beaten)


May (6 Games Beaten)


June (13 Games Beaten)


July (7 Games Beaten)


August (15 Games Beaten)


September (8 Games Beaten)


October (4 Games Beaten)


102. Depth Hunter 2: Deep Dive - Steam - October 9



Depth Hunter 2 is one of those games I see in my Steam library and think to myself "When did I even buy this? WHY did I even buy this?" I haven't the foggiest about the former, but as for the latter, I suspect it was in an otherwise cool sounding Humble Bundle or a "it's 99 cents, how bad could it be?" Bundle Stars bundle. Aaaanyway, as my Vita sat on its charging cradle, I found myself without anything to play until I could return to Trails of Cold Steel. I didn't want to start a long game since Gears of War 4 is coming out Tuesday, and PlayStation VR is coming out Thursday, but I needed SOMETHING to play while the Vita charged. I pulled up my Backloggery page and used the Fortune Cookie feature on my Steam library. It told me to play Depth Hunter 2.



There are definitely worse ways to spend two hours. The premise of the game (as the title might suggest) is that you hunt fish. You're a diver armed with a spear gun, a camera, and an unnaturally large lung capacity. From there, you swim around and massacre various species of fish to the brink of extinction. The game starts off really cool, actually. You get various generic missions like "Hunt 5 fish" or "Hunt three Red Snapper fish" or "Kill everything in a two kilometer radius in ten minutes." Okay, I made up the last one, but you do get told to slaughter hunt as many fish as you can in five minutes. It's a little disappointing when you discover that you're not allowed to hunt sea turtles, but I guess that's understandable.



There are three hunting locations - Some Place (I think Thailand?), South Africa, and Some Other Place (I don't know, Caribbean maybe?) - and the game starts to show some of its flaws by the second place. You FINALLY get to see sharks when you get to South Africa....and you're not allowed to kill them. They won't attack you, but you can't attack them, either. You can just look at their docile majesty and take pictures of them. You can't shoot the rays, either. That was kind of disappointing. The campaign becomes a bit of a slog once you get to the third location. In addition to not being able to kill sharks, rays, or turtles, it now adds dolphins, whales, jellyfish, and eels that it won't let you massacre. It's probably a minor point to most, I know, but I really wanted to hunt Ecco's family down. You also begin to notice that, aside from a few unique species (half of which you can't kill), it seems like every part of the world's oceans have exactly the same fish. It's not like it breaks the game or anything, but it does get a little bit tedious killing mostly the same shit everywhere you go (especially when it has you spend 10 missions in a row either collecting treasure from the ocean floor or taking pictures of fish, neither of which involve killing anything).



Now don't get me wrong - it's a relaxing game, and I really did enjoy it. There are some major letdowns. What's the point of a hunting game that doesn't let you kill threatened and endangered species OR massive apex predators that you'd be scared shitless to be around in real life, let alone attack? If you liked the Endless Ocean games on Wii, however, then I'd definitely suggest checking this out one. It's bit more involved than Endless Ocean, but there is an exploration mode for each of the three locations that lets you just sort of do whatever you want, so it's neat for fans of opened ended exploration games. Not sure how much it is these days, but as long as you download it for $5 or less, I'd suggest checking it out.