Write-ups for the last two weeks...
Doom AsylumA group of friends and a female punk band wander around an old hospital that also happens to be inhabited by a disfigured, deranged killer, who doesn't seem to like visitors and has a penchant for dad jokes.
Oi. This movie. It's so dumb. I think it's trying to come across as stupid fun, but it falls flat and just ends up feeling stupid. And it likes to think it's more clever than it is, which just makes it dumber. It also thinks it's a comedy. But that's only true in a sense that there's a chance you may laugh at how stupid, cheap, or ridiculous everything is. Other than that it's greatest claim to fame seems to be that it stars two actresses that were featured in Penthouse and Playboy, and a much younger Kristen Davis in her very first film role. I did enjoy reading all the graffiti on the walls, though. So there's that.
Thankskilling 3The evil Turkie is back, and he's trying to track down the last remaining copy of Thankskilling 2 so that he can somehow use it to destroy the world. Standing in his way is a handful of misfits, including the creators of Thanksgiving Land, a foul-mouthed rapping grandma, a space worm, and a puppet who has literally lost her mind.
Okay, so three things right off the bat. First, no, there's not actually a Thankskilling 2. That's part of the film's "joke." Second, don't even try to decipher the movie's story because the plot doesn't make any more sense if you watch the film. And third, don't watch the film.
There, I said it.
Where the first film was a cheap, stupid slasher, this film is actually a fantasy adventure epic, but filled with raunchy puppets. So kind of like if Avenue Q and Lord of the Rings had an illegitimate child. Which might
sound fun, but trust me, it is not. The film quite literally throws just about everything the filmmakers could think to include on the screen, but instead of being fun or interesting it's just boring. And considering all the crap going on, that's saying something. When I got to the point where I wanted the film to end, I checked the time and realized, to my horror, that the movie was only half-way done, and by the time the film was over I was just happy that the movie had decided to finally end my suffering. I went in expecting 'stupid fun' or at least 'so bad, it's good' fun, but I was tricked.
Don't be like me. Don't be tricked.