This is a movie partially directed by Ed Wood. So that should give you an idea of the level of quality right there. I did kind of like the psychological thing they had going on there towards the middle, and the filmmakers would probably have been better off if they'd stuck with that direction. But they couldn't, cause they kinda suck, and it just ends up being a weird movie with a monster that just ends up looking like moldy Bigfoot.
Oh, and no one is actually killed by a meatcleaver, so the movie title is a lie.
And I also watched....
Sinister
I've already seen this before, but it's been a while so I gave it another viewing. I still like it. And I also like that Ethan Hawke seems to have decided to pivot his career into making creepy horror movies lately. Kind of an odd choice, but I like it. What I don't like is that this movie kinda highlights an odd habit in horror movies where people insist on walking around in the dark when they don't have to. Is it just me? Am I the only one who turns lights on in the house at night? Cause I sure as hell would be reaching over and flipping a light on if I heard a strange noise instead of wandering around in the dark with a baseball bat. Doing otherwise just seems like a guaranteed way for me to accidentally ruin a perfectly good lamp.
And the last one was...
Martyrs
One does not talk about Martyrs. One only survives Martyrs and hopes that one day they will once again be able to feel some semblance of joy or hope in their lives.
Now if you'll excuse me, I have to try to figure out if there's any way to safely wash my eyes out with bleach....
The Angry Red Planet (1959) - Fantastic monsters, and I love the weird filter they use to show that they are on Mars. Unfortunately the scenes of them hanging out in their space ship felt quite dry. It seems like that's the standard for 50s scifi/horror b films. It does remind me, The Lost Skeleton of Cadavra is a fantastic parody of these sorts of films. Definitely see it.
All the Boys Love Mandy Lane (2006) - It definitely goes for a smarter direction. Showing how teenage boy desire is inherently flawed. Mandy Lane is a very boring character, but that's the point. The dudes do nothing to get to know her and just wanna fuck her instead. So, you never see what her personality actually is. However, the twist of how the murders happen was quite stupid, and I feel like if they went the more satirical yet cynical direction, it would have been a lot more effective.
Unfriended: Dark Web (2018) - The computer gimmick is a decent idea. The film itself? It's someone talking about the dark web who's clearly out of touch with tech and has no idea how it works, but is still trying to make a PSA about it. Good for a few laughs, but not nearly funny enough to recommend.
Aberration (1997) - It's nothing legendary, but it's definitely a hidden gem that I'd highly recommend. It has really offbeat humour for a horror film. It's like there's comedy in there, but it's not a horror comedy if that makes sense? The lizards are way too cute to be considered scary, but it definitely adds a charm to this. A very fun film.
Triangle (2009) - Decided to see this cause it blew my mind as a teen. In the end? This is pretty much made for teens. It still presents itself as a cool twist, but the execution isn't the best because you're just waiting for the twist to happen, and they give the most obvious hint right before anyways, and because it was presented so early into the film I lost interest quickly afterwards.
I’ve been pre-gaming horror movies pretty hard this month, and I can’t wait for October! Still, I haven’t done enough to keep this thread going. Here’s what I’ve been watching recently, in alphabetical order:
Altered States - Pretty fun, but very weird psychedelic horror film that is redeemed a lot by its bonkers ending. William Hurt stars, and it’s based on a book by the guy who wrote Marty (which is a GREAT movie, but not a horror film by any means). I enjoyed it, and it’s influence on Netflix’s Stranger Things is pretty obvious. (Watched on DVD)
As Above So Below - Forgettable found footage movie about a gate to hell in the Parisian catacombs. (So forgettable, in fact, that I forgot to add it to this list yesterday.) The acting is pretty ridiculous and the setting is cool. The main character is annoying, though, and it doesn’t make sense that people would continue carrying a camera throughout the film, which is a problem with a lot of found footage movies. (Streaming on Prime Video)
Captain Kronos, Vampire Hunter - Kinda “meh” Hammer horror film that is supposed to be a horror comedy, I guess? It’s neither funny nor scary; so, I couldn’t tell. There’s a good sword fight at the end, and scream Queen Caroline Monro is in top form. Otherwise, not much to recommend it. (Streaming on Kanopy)
Dead & Buried - Dingy, dirty-looking Lovecraftian horror film that blew right past my expectations. Every shot looks like it’s covered in grime, and the film is gory and fun. Highly, highly recommended! (Streaming on Kanopy)
Evil Dead Rise - Amazing. More Evil Dead 2 than Evil Dead, and I loved it. It’s so, so gory, and the dead it’s are just so much fun. I really can’t recommend it highly enough. (Streaming on Max)
In The Mouth of Madness - Kinda ho-hum Lovecraftian horror film from horror legend John Carpenter. Has some inspired moments, and Sam Neil is always great. It’s pretty corny, though, and not nearly as scary or fun as it should be. (Streaming on Kanopy)
Malevolent - This Scottish horror film starts out like The Sixth Sense and ends up like The Texas Chainsaw Massacre. It isn’t as good as either of those movies, and it is unlikely to be anyone’s favorite horror film. Still, it’s fun for what it is and a spooky good time. Recommended. (Streaming on Netflix)
The Pope’s Exorcist - It’s-a me! Russell-a Crowe-a! This-a demon-a possession-a movie-a is-a worth-a watching-a for-a the ridiculous-a Italian-a accents-a! Also, if you take a drink every time the movie indulges in an exorcism movie trope, you will have alcohol poisoning by the end of the film. You will also have had a really great time! (Streaming on Netflix)
Run Rabbit - Slow, boring Australian psychological horror film about a woman’s child possessed by the woman’s missing sister. (Or is she?!?!?!?!). Good atmosphere and an interesting location, combined with a strong central performance couldn’t overcome a dull, predictable plot and the complete of fun. (Streaming on Netflix)
The Stepfather - Classic horror film about a stepfather who’d be pretty great if he didn’t keep killing his wives and children. The beginning sequence is classic, and the movie is (very loosely) based on a true story. Terry O’Quinn kills it, figuratively and literally, in the titular role, but the rest of the cast is pretty bad. Moreover, the movie is pretty predictable and not that scary. Hesitantly recommended.
Train to Busan - Fast zombies! On a train! This Korean film is more action than horror, but it is nonetheless a new, bona-fide zombie movie classic. Highly recommended. (Streaming on Prime Video)
Unseen - This movie, which is more thriller than horror, has a put-upon gas station attendant using FaceTime to guide a legally blind woman through the woods and away from her toxic, murderous ex-boyfriend. This is a really solid concept, and it makes for a very good movie. Recommended. (Streaming on Netflix)
Vivarium - This sci-fi horror film finds a young couple literally trapped in a suburban hellscape raising an incredibly annoying “child” as a condition for their release. Easily the most disturbing, horror film. I’ve watched so far this year. (Streaming on Netflix)
Scream at prfsnl gmr’s Pre-Gaming Watchlist of Blood!
Altered States - As Above So Below - Captain Kronos, Vampire Hunter - Dead & Buried - Evil Dead Rise - In The Mouth of Madness - Malevolent - The Pope’s Exorcist - Run Rabbit - The Stepfather - Train to Busan - Unseen - Vivarium -
Last edited by prfsnl_gmr on Sat Sep 30, 2023 10:27 pm, edited 4 times in total.
Some awesome reviews and recommendations in this thread! I really want to see Dead & Buried, it seems to have got some high praise around here, so I'll have to track it down.
prfsnl_gmr wrote:Evil Dead Rise - Amazing. More Evil Dead 2 than Evil Dead, and I loved it. It’s so, so gory, and the dead it’s are just so much fun. I really can’t recommend it highly enough. (Streaming on Max)
I second Evil Dead Rise! My girlfriend and I watched it over the weekend and it was a good time. Some pretty wild gore scenes, and while a large chunk of the movie takes place in more or less the same setting, it still left me on the edge of my seat.
I'm interested in checking out the various horror movies available on Netflix, so I appreciate you mentioning those, prfsnl! Hopefully can binge a few this weekend.
Tonight’s movie was Tenebrae. It is a late period Dario Argento giallo film, and it owns. Lots of murders, a bit of mystery, and a huge helping of absolutely amazing late-century modern furniture and interior design.
“I would watch this movie 100 times just to gawk at the furniture.” - prfsnl_gmr’s wife
Highly recommended (especially if you’re into interior design).
Scream at prfsnl gmr’s Pre-Gaming Watchlist of Blood!
Altered States - As Above So Below - Captain Kronos, Vampire Hunter - Dead & Buried - Evil Dead Rise - In The Mouth of Madness - Malevolent - The Pope’s Exorcist - Run Rabbit - The Stepfather - Tenebrae - Train to Busan - Unseen - Vivarium -
Last edited by prfsnl_gmr on Sat Sep 30, 2023 10:29 pm, edited 3 times in total.
It's a horror, but it's also a comedy. But it doesn't so much advertise the comedy. It's a lot more subtle about it, in a "wink-wink, nudge-nudge" type of way aimed at horror lovers. I like it, but the versions available online are all very low quality, so be prepared for that.
47 Meters Down: Uncaged
I'm convinced that the pitch for this sequel, which is completely unconnected to the first 47 Meters Down, was as follows:
"It's The Decent....
But underwater....
With sharks!"
Like, that's it. That's the movie, and they weren't very subtle about it either. I mean, it even recreates some of the same plot beats like the cave collapse that traps them all, and the "escape" via rope that gets borked because one of the survivors ends up being a dick. It's uncanny. The only real difference is that the cave is also an archeological find, so there's occasionally more interesting things to look at other than rocks, and the group of ladies are all teen girls. Other than that it's a cheesy re-tread that's probably good for a laugh or two and some background viewing, but not much else.
A Haunting in Venice
I went to see this this week. It's not exactly "scary", but it's a fun mystery movie with great atmosphere, some spooky imagery, and even a couple decent jump scares. If you watched the other Poirot movies you'll like this.
Man-Thing
So, did you know that Marvel already released a Man-Thing movie way back in 2005? If you didn't, don't worry, because I'd never heard about it either. Apparently the test screenings were so bad that people walked out. But the movie was already done, and I guess it had to go somewhere so it was given to cable where it aired on....the Sci-Fi channel. Yeah, that's where they dumped it. Poor Man-Thing. It deserved better.
Honestly though, it's not that bad of a movie. It's just thoroughly mediocre because for some reason they turned it into a generic monster movie with racist undertones, instead of actually making a movie about, you know, Man-Thing. So instead of pertinent background information (pretty sure that Werewolf by Night special from 2022 made the poor thing more engaging) we spend most of the movie watching land disputes, an awkward romance, and a lot of people slowly wandering around in the swamp at night. On the plus side, the effects are pretty good (for the time, anyway...), and Man-Thing ends up looking pretty cool. So there's that. But unfortunately the rest of the movie ends up being very forgettable.
Halloween III: Season of the Witch (1982) - This was infamous for, obvious reasons. But, I think that now we are aware of it I was wondering to see if it's as bad as people say. It's certainly very silly, in fact too silly for me, but I thought this was extremely well directed. Some fantastic shots and use of lighting in there.
Maniac Cop (1988) - Some interesting social commentary, especially in today's political climate. I saw Larry Cohen's script for this because compared to Fuller, and I can totally see it. I noticed it with Maniac as well (he sure likes to use that title), but I enjoy Lustig's directing style. There's like this strange artfulness to his low budget, exploitation vibe. I loved this.
I felt like I was the one person in the room who saw Werewolf By Night and declared, "Hey, Man-Thing is back!" And then I had to explain that there was already a Man-Thing movie...
And Marvel hasn't said anything about it, so I declare it part of the MCU.
Btw if anyone uses letterboxd. I am WAY behind on logging everything I've seen, and don't really wanna seek them out (if I come across something I've seen I'll add as watched), but I did make a horror list if anyone wants some recs: https://letterboxd.com/pretentiouship/l ... -hipsters/
PretentiousHipster wrote:Halloween III: Season of the Witch (1982) - This was infamous for, obvious reasons. But, I think that now we are aware of it I was wondering to see if it's as bad as people say. It's certainly very silly, in fact too silly for me, but I thought this was extremely well directed. Some fantastic shots and use of lighting in there.
I really like Halloween III, even if it is a bit silly. The “Halloween Countdown” song is just great.
