What was the last movie you've seen?

[Ack]

Yeah, I wasn't a fan of Bloody Wednesday either. It's sleazy but ultimately forgettable. If you're up for more sleaze, go see if Funland is still streaming somewhere.

For me, my last write up of the year is on The 2nd:



I feel like that "poster" art is terribly generic, which is pretty much par for the course: a bunch of B and C-list actors, a really dumb plot involving the CIA kidnapping the daughter of a Supreme Court Justice, and father-son bonding. Which is pretty much everything we want in trash cinema I suppose, so I ain't that mad.

[Michi]

Yeah, I wasn't a fan of Bloody Wednesday either. It's sleazy but ultimately forgettable. If you're up for more sleaze, go see if Funland is still streaming somewhere.

*adds to Watchlist*



Anyway, in honor of the new year and New Years resolutions, I've decided that all of January's new write-ups will be dedicated to "New" versions of old films. So let the rebooting and remakes commence!

First up:

Child's Play



You know the general story: Mom gets kid doll, doll is psychotic, people die. The difference is, this that instead of being possessed by a murderous psychopath, this Chucky is more like a demented and glitched Siri. Chucky isn't possessed, his programming has just been tampered with by a disgruntled (and now dead) employee, and Andy and his friends, thinking that this lapse in Chucky's programming safety protocols is cool, let him watch violent horror movies and teach him to stab things (stuffed things, but still.) Chaos and death ensue.

I ended up liking this one a lot more than I thought I would. For starters, Andy is much older (13), so he and his friends have a bit more agency to deal with the problems that eventually rear their ugly heads. And the other thing I like is that Chucky's fate is determined by a variety of factors, not just one employee being a jerk. I mean, yeah, all of his programming is intentionally messed up, but it's ultimately the kids who push him the rest of the way into becoming Mr. Stabby McStabberstein. The one thing I didn't like was that they somehow made Chucky even uglier than his scarred-up predecessor, and that by turning him into a machine they took away a huge chunk of his unique personality. So in the end I'm kind of torn.

But hey, at least I got to hear Mark Hamill stab a bunch of people. That's always nice.

[Ack]

My wife and I watched a lot of action movies over the holidays, and the worst ones are the ones I write about. Like this hunk of cheese:

The Hard Way



Michael Jai White, Luke Goss, and Randy Couture stumble and fight their way through a film set in Romania, with no budget, and directed by a guy who's been tackling Steven Segal movies. Recent Segal movies. The worst Segal movies. While Michael Jai White is the best thing about this film, the rest...not so good. From bad nightclub scenes to the fact no one ever changes clothes, and with a twist you'll guess about 15 minutes into the film, it's like a slow motion train wreck but without the carnal pleasures of watching metal twist and warp in directions it shouldn't.

[marurun]

There's 4 actors in that image... and only the men are named. Color me unsurprised.

[Ack]

In a movie that bad, consider her lucky to get out anonymously.

[PretentiousHipster]

I'd recommend Drive for 90s direct to video action films. Surprisingly great, and of course cheesy as hell.

[stickem]

I'd recommend Drive for 90s direct to video action films. Surprisingly great, and of course cheesy as hell.

I've been meaning to watch this. Love the opening song, nightcall (and the album it came from). I think I tried watching the first 15 minutes and got bored.


Edit: I think we are talking about 2 different movies named drive lol.

[PretentiousHipster]

I'd recommend Drive for 90s direct to video action films. Surprisingly great, and of course cheesy as hell.

I've been meaning to watch this. Love the opening song, nightcall (and the album it came from). I think I tried watching the first 15 minutes and got bored.


Edit: I think we are talking about 2 different movies named drive lol.

You're thinking of the Ryan Gosling one? That one is decent, but somehow I prefer the 90s one lol. This is the imdb link: https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0116147/

[Ack]

Ooh, with Mark Decascos? Man, you are digging to the bottom of a delightful barrel.

[stickem]

I'd recommend Drive for 90s direct to video action films. Surprisingly great, and of course cheesy as hell.

I've been meaning to watch this. Love the opening song, nightcall (and the album it came from). I think I tried watching the first 15 minutes and got bored.


Edit: I think we are talking about 2 different movies named drive lol.

You're thinking of the Ryan Gosling one? That one is decent, but somehow I prefer the 90s one lol. This is the imdb link: https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0116147/

Yeah you got me before I realized the dates and of course with this crowd it wasn't a movie I've heard about lol.