What Made you Smile/What Ticked you off Today?

[Forlorn Drifter]

Thanks for the support guys and gals, but I don't think y'all see it through the same lenses as me.

[MrPopo]

Thanks for the support guys and gals, but I don't think y'all see it through the same lenses as me.

We don't, because we don't have the level of depression that you do. We're trying to give you a different perspective that isn't seen through the lens of "nothing will ever go right for me."

[Forlorn Drifter]

I'm not depressed enough to worry about- I can still go about a normal day, so it's fine. I don't even think I'm depressed- I think it's anxiety.

[Ack]

I suffer from an anxiety disorder, so I do understand the hopelessness you can feel over the job search. For those two years I was trying, I took whatever jobs I could to make ends meet, but every day I felt like I was a failure. I'd apply to places, not hear anything or get rejected, and feel worse about my situation. It spiraled, even as did things that felt rewarding, such as tutoring kids or working for the Census.

Eventually, I talked with my father, and he urged me to seek counseling as well as consider making changes such as moving and taking medication. With other things falling apart in my life at the time, I decided to take him up on it and remade myself. I managed to get lucky and find a wonderful job a couple of months later.

I realize that every situation is different, but I managed to work through some of the sources of my anxiety and depression at the time, which made me feel at least a little more confident about my situation. I know it feels hopeless; I have been there. I still suffer from problems with my disorder, but I have been working to treat it for a long time too. You will succeed eventually, though it may come in ways you never expect.

A couple of questions for you: what field do you want to work in, and where? What exactly did you study in school, and what do you really want to do with it? There may be related opportunities you haven't considered, or you may simply break the mold and take yourself in a new direction.

[REPO Man]

No hot water in my new place. Gotta get my dad to look at it.

Ordered a 1TB external hard drive and it should be here Tuesday (my day off from both jobs). I'm gonna use it on my PS4 until I can get an internal hard drive to install inside of it (preferably 2TB or more), and then after I transfer everything to the new one I'll have a 1TB HDD to free up space on my laptop.

[prfsnl_gmr]

:cry: No hot water in my new place. Gotta get my dad to look at it.

Are you renting it from him? If not, then you need to call your landlord. It’s the landlord’s responsibility to make sure your place is habitable.

[stickem]

^Unless he doesn't realize he has a gas water heater, which would be on him lol.

[Xeogred]

I'm going to be brutally honest here Forlorn Drifter, but your posts for a long time lately in this thread have been aggravating because a lot of people don't like seeing it and are trying to help but you often knock back, like you've got it all under control. It's time to get over yourself and let go of whatever tight grip control of your life you think you have right now. The world doesn't stop for anyone. Relax and let life take you where it flows. Trying to "control" and plot out everything is a recipe to be miserable. You don't have to take in or do everything a therapist, friend, or family might tell you, but you should try to listen and get some other perspectives and gain some wisdom about yourself. People will very often see things you don't even realize you do, say, or think. If there's innate issues, acknowledging them is the first step. From my end it's looking like whatever you're doing for yourself isn't really helping. Stop asking "why" and starting asking "why not?" for a better take on life ahead. Depression and anxiety go hand in hand and your posts seem fueled by anger, which to me leans more towards depression. And don't fret or trip up thinking that makes you an angry person, not at all... it's completely fine to be angry at someone or something, that doesn't define you. Find a safe way to vent it out if necessary. You've got fire that can be channeled into something better.

As for the job field, anything is good for a resume and builds towards the future along with networks and friendships. Try not to get too caught up in the paychecks but you gotta do what you gotta do. For years I kept looking for the bigger paychecks or promotions and I was miserable for those years. Work isn't life. Work to live! Not the other way around. The less I've thought about work over the years the happier I've become. If you can pay your rent and buy some food, you're doing good. Not everyone has that going.

Anyways, I don't want to piss you or others off more here but I've been there myself and sometimes when close friends or family just try to pat your back, you just remain stuck like I was. Yeah we can't see through your lenses, just as you can't see through mine or anybody elses. That doesn't matter. Only you can be 100% you. Be the best you you can ever be. In times like these helping and serving others can help bring you some purpose and joy, instead of just getting caught up in your own web. Seek some outsider perspectives on things and try to implement new ideas or thinking into whatever is ahead. Whether this is a waste of my time or not, oh well, I just had to finally say something. Do with it whatever you want. We care and want you to be awesome.

[REPO Man]

:cry: No hot water in my new place. Gotta get my dad to look at it.

Are you renting it from him? If not, then you need to call your landlord. It’s the landlord’s responsibility to make sure your place is habitable.

My dad did a lot of work on the place and does a lot of handy work for my landlord, whose father was my boss last year at Nino's Pizza.

[prfsnl_gmr]

That sounds like a pretty complicated relationship; so...call your dad!