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marurun
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Games you wouldn’t / couldn't beat 2019

by marurun Wed Mar 13, 2019 7:56 pm

Here we catalog our failures, and the failures of the games we tried so hard to love but which let us down. Bring it on, 2019.

Jinmu Denshou, on PCE. It is sort of a rail shooter. It tries to do a lot of interesting things, but it just doesn’t come together for me. You are a samurai and you run and jump instead of flying. You can also retreat to collect power ups and jump on floating platforms. At your weakest you can only slash your sword at melee range, but as you power up you can shoot, and even charge your attacks. There’s just too much going on and it doesn’t feel as easy breezy as Space Harrier. I didn’t stick with this one at all.
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BoneSnapDeez
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Re: Games you wouldn’t / couldn't beat 2019

by BoneSnapDeez Wed Mar 13, 2019 9:29 pm

All Famicom.

Argus - Very boring and very difficult Jaleco shmup.
Astro Robo SASA - Single screen arcade-style game. Has "flappy" controls a bit like Joust and Balloon Fight, but stranger. Basically, you fire a gun and are then propelled in the opposite direction. It's an incredibly awkward control scheme. Stages have strict time limits. Nope.
B-Wings - Very boring and very difficult Data East shmup.
Championship Lode Runner - The first game is impossible. This is even more impossible.
Door Door - I really wanted to like this one. It feels like a "lost" black label game and is also the first Chunsoft/Enix Famicom release. It's a single-screen platformer where you control a cute blobby mascot and must open and close doors to trap hostile aliens. Sounds right up my alley, in theory. Unfortunately, it sucks hard for two big reasons. First, the game is just wretchedly slow, with a choppy framerate. Feels like every character is trudging through molasses. Second, there are 50 stages, and unlike its peers Door Door offers up no continues and no level select. You're expected to beat the entire game on the three allotted lives. No.
Exed Exes - Very boring and very difficult Capcom shmup.
F1 Race - Crappy, hard, middling Famicom racer. Lacks the cerebral simplicity of a game like Pole Position, and the intriguing complexity of a game like Rad Racer. Occupies a sort of boring tech demo-y gray era.
Formation Z - A somewhat unique shmup where you alternate between playing as a robot and an airplane. Downright mutilated controls.
Ganso Saiyuuki: Super Monkey Daibouken - Literally non-functional.
Gyrodine - Very boring and very difficult Taito shmup.
Kaguya Hime Densetsu - An adventure game with a really intriguing setting and hilarious dialogue. Unfortunately, developed by Micronics. Game is somewhat functional. I got stuck because I missed some "trigger." Whatever.
Ninja Hattori-kun: Ninja wa Shugyou de Gozaru - Terrible Hudson platformer.
Ninja-kun: Ashura no Shou - Stunningly bad controls. Success in the game is predicated on mastering a "wall jump" that works when it feel like it.
Onyanko Town - Micronics attempting to develop an arcade-style "maze" game. And failing.
Pac-Land - Interesting game... But I hate the controls. B moves Pac left and A moves him right. The d-pad jumps. What the hell.
Pachicom - This is literally a pachinko simulator. Like real life, it seems like there's some luck involved in achieving success. I have no luck.
Road Fighter - Interesting Konami title. Sort of like a top-down OutRun. I find it difficult. Plus you need to gather fuel by crashing into cars of a certain color. Lame.
Route-16 Turbo - It ain't good, folks.
Super Arabian - Single screen platformer in the vein of Kangaroo. First two levels are solid. Final two levels = unplayable. Imagine playing Donkey Kong but with moving platforms that whip across the screen.
Zippy Race - I like the arcade game. The Famicom port removes any continue option, and it just becomes "Nintendo Hard."
Zunou Senkan Galg - Some attempt at a shmup/RPG hybrid. Neither genre is represented well. Abysmal.
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Re: Games you wouldn’t / couldn't beat 2019

by pook99 Wed Mar 13, 2019 11:15 pm

1) McKids (nes)

Seemed promising at first but level design is trash and is not fun to explore the levels. I forgot why I hate it so much, I just know I did. If this thread was created a few months ago I would probably have more insight
2) Hopkipo

indie game with psychadelic graphics, touchy controls, crappy checkpoint system, and deaths that you cant see based on the crazy graphics

3) Chop is dish

flash game platformer, no save system, slow and shitty controls, I think I paid 50 cents for it and I still feel ripped

4) Prey

great atmosphere, terrific story, cool enemies, intense mood, innovative combat, and its all brought down by a space station with a crummy map and you spend more time wandering aimlessly then you do actually accomplishing anything, this is the only game on this list that is not a bad game, based on the reviews it is actually an exceptional game, but it simply wasn't for me.
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Ack
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Re: Games you wouldn’t / couldn't beat 2019

by Ack Fri Mar 15, 2019 10:31 am

BoneSnapDeez wrote:Pac-Land - Interesting game... But I hate the controls. B moves Pac left and A moves him right. The d-pad jumps. What the hell.


What the hell indeed. That sounds ridiculous. So...what else does the d-pad do? Just jump? What are the other directions for?
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alienjesus
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Re: Games you wouldn’t / couldn't beat 2019

by alienjesus Fri Mar 15, 2019 10:38 am

Ack wrote:
BoneSnapDeez wrote:Pac-Land - Interesting game... But I hate the controls. B moves Pac left and A moves him right. The d-pad jumps. What the hell.


What the hell indeed. That sounds ridiculous. So...what else does the d-pad do? Just jump? What are the other directions for?



I'm assuming it's meant to replicate the arcade original, which just had buttons for it's control set-up:

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BoneSnapDeez
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Re: Games you wouldn’t / couldn't beat 2019

by BoneSnapDeez Fri Mar 15, 2019 11:24 am

Exactly. It reminds me of how certain twin stick games were ported with their control schemes intact, with mixed results.

And to clarify, the d-pad here essentially functions as one big jump button. Pushing up, down, left, or right will cause Pac to jump -- in the direction he's facing. Pressing up feels the most "natural" of course.

There's some "logic" to the controls, but they don't hold up well.
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Re: Games you wouldn’t / couldn't beat 2019

by ElkinFencer10 Fri Mar 15, 2019 11:25 am

Despite the fact that I do have this on my Games Beaten list because I technically "beat" it, I'm gonna throw Octopath Traveler up here. I beat every character's storyline. I saw the end credits. What I haven't done and refuse to grind enough to do is beat the fucking post-game superboss. It's far more frustrating than fun.
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BoneSnapDeez
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Re: Games you wouldn’t / couldn't beat 2019

by BoneSnapDeez Fri Mar 15, 2019 11:26 am

Ulta-hard/grindy "completionist" elements shoehorned into RPGs are the worst shit ever. Hated that sort of thing even back in the FFVII days.
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Re: Games you wouldn’t / couldn't beat 2019

by pierrot Sat Mar 16, 2019 1:40 pm

I spent a bit of time playing Shin Shinobiden (Shinobi Legions/Shinobi X) a few weeks ago, on the Saturn, and just couldn't really do it anymore after a few cracks at the Stage 7 (Chinatown) boss. At first glance it seems like an all right game. It's a far cry from anything even approximating the greatness of Shinobi III, but it sort of retains a lot of the controls that made Shinobi III so special. Then things just start to get really bad in Stage 5, which is just a couple of horrendous autoscrollers, the first of which being simply a nightmare. I haven't totally decided whether or not I'm going to "cheat" by trying the level select code, but to be clear, none of what I've played of the game was what I would call good. I wouldn't totally begrudge someone for liking the game, but it is not a good game. At all. (Although, some of the music is pretty good, actually.)
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Re: Games you wouldn’t / couldn't beat 2019

by Forlorn Drifter Sat Mar 16, 2019 3:21 pm

Duke Nukem 3D. I like DOOM, so I assumed I'd like this. However, I lost interest totally at the end of the second set of levels (second chapter or whatever it is called for this one). Very bland environments, enemies were boring, and while I had issues with the DOOM II DLC being too mazy for my liking, I somehow got even more lost in Duke 3D.
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