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BoneSnapDeez
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Re: Games Beaten 2017

by BoneSnapDeez Thu Jun 01, 2017 6:53 pm

Actually no, I did such an obscene amount of grinding beforehand no more was needed.

Hilariously, my cart already had a save on it and all the characters were at level 99. :shock:
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Exhuminator
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Re: Games Beaten 2017

by Exhuminator Fri Jun 02, 2017 12:18 am

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32. Greendog: The Beached Surfer Dude! | Genesis | platformer | 1992 | 2h | 3/10

Greendog the surfer bum accidentally comes into contact with a cursed medallion, and now he must find six pieces of an ancient amulet... oh forget it. Greendog is basically a mix of Pitfall and Adventure Island, except executed incredibly poorly. The only real effort put into this game was via its backgrounds, which are nicely done. Everything else is subpar, from the terrible music, to the absurd hit detection, to the floaty and inconsistent jumping mechanics. Your only weapon is a plastic frisbee which is hard to aim and takes forever to kill enemies. Best of all, Greendog will instantly drown if he comes into contact with water, despite being a "surfer dude". (And yet lava does not instantly kill him.) Also you never do any surfing, but you do ride a skateboard and roller blades for whatever reason. Most of Greendog is a cakewalk, until the final level which becomes an absurd difficulty spike. It's just a mess. I have no idea what possessed Interactive Designs to create Greendog, and even less of an idea why SEGA bothered to publish it. If you've ever wondered if you should give this oddball a shot, don't bother. If you've never heard of this crap, now you know why. Greendog is like totally garbage to the max dude!

Also vintage early '90s video game sexism and racism:

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Greendog's girlfriend named "Bambi". I shit you not, that's her name.

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One of the enemy types in this game are African American women who sit on benches with bananas on their head. When they see you, they freak out and look rather uh, stereotyped. Keepin' it classy SEGA. :|
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Sarge
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Re: Games Beaten 2017

by Sarge Fri Jun 02, 2017 12:27 am

You should have to say "Greendog" like Joe Redifer from Game Sack says it. ;)
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BogusMeatFactory
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Re: Games Beaten 2017

by BogusMeatFactory Fri Jun 02, 2017 6:46 am

Yeah greendog is pretty mediocre. One correction, though. The reason why he dies in water is because of the curse brought on by the medallion, which is why it is so important he find the pieces.
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Exhuminator
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Re: Games Beaten 2017

by Exhuminator Fri Jun 02, 2017 10:38 am

BogusMeatFactory wrote:The reason why he dies in water is because of the curse brought on by the medallion, which is why it is so important he find the pieces.

There's an entire level where Greendog is underwater the whole time and it doesn't hurt him:

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But in later levels if Greendog so much as puts his foot in water he dies instantly.

So the developers forgot their own plot during that underwater level. :roll:

This game is terribad.
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BogusMeatFactory
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Re: Games Beaten 2017

by BogusMeatFactory Fri Jun 02, 2017 10:57 am

But the underwater level has him with a snorkel and a water supply. He doesn't swim in those levels. The whole point is he wants to surf and can't. Is it dumb? Absolutely, but the context is there.
Ack wrote:I don't know, chief, the haunting feeling of lust I feel whenever I look at your avatar makes me think it's real.

-I am the idiot that likes to have fun and be happy.
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Exhuminator
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Re: Games Beaten 2017

by Exhuminator Fri Jun 02, 2017 11:06 am

BogusMeatFactory wrote:But the underwater level has him with a snorkel and a water supply. He doesn't swim in those levels. The whole point is he wants to surf and can't. Is it dumb? Absolutely, but the context is there.

:lol:

Let's take a step back and realize we're on the verge of having a nerd fight about Greendog. Fucking Greendog!

Totally not worth it.
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BogusMeatFactory
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Re: Games Beaten 2017

by BogusMeatFactory Fri Jun 02, 2017 11:07 am

Exhuminator wrote:
BogusMeatFactory wrote:But the underwater level has him with a snorkel and a water supply. He doesn't swim in those levels. The whole point is he wants to surf and can't. Is it dumb? Absolutely, but the context is there.

:lol:

Let's take a step back and realize we're on the verge of having a nerd fight about Greendog. Fucking Greendog!

Totally not worth it.


Totally not worth it...hahahahaha.
Ack wrote:I don't know, chief, the haunting feeling of lust I feel whenever I look at your avatar makes me think it's real.

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Sarge
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Re: Games Beaten 2017

by Sarge Fri Jun 02, 2017 11:56 am

Hardcore Retro Gaming - Talk about games ten years old or older. Now with a modern gaming section!
“History isn't just the story of bad people doing bad things. It's quite as much a story of people trying to do good things. But somehow, something goes wrong.” -- C.S. Lewis
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Re: Games Beaten 2017

by Exhuminator Fri Jun 02, 2017 3:09 pm

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33. Submarine Attack | Master System | shmup | 1990 | 23m | 5/10

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In 1990 SEGA developed and published Submarine Attack for the European and Brazil markets. (For whatever reason, it was not published in USA or Japan.) Submarine Attack is a basic shmup set underwater, in which you do attack things with a submarine. You've got a straight shot and an upward arc shot. Overall this game is very easy. Levels are uncomplicated, enemies and their projectiles are slow, and bosses are simple. The graphics are colorful and decent for their time, but the music's generally terrible. Controls are dirt simple, but a lack of any real power-ups hurts the experience. This would probably make a good shmup for someone new to the genre looking for an easy beat. The aquatic setting does add some fair, so if you enjoy shmups like "Sqoon" or "In the Hunt" you might enjoy this. But outside the oceanic theme Submarine Attack deep-sixes any attempt at notable ambition.
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