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pierrot
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Re: Together Retro: Eighties' Ladies' Night

by pierrot Thu Mar 01, 2018 7:22 pm

BoneSnapDeez wrote:I'm probably going to start with Valkyrie no Bouken on Famicom.

I know you're a boss, Bone, but if you were planning on playing this one blind, with no outside help, you're in for a bad time. It didn't take too long for me to go running, screaming, to a guide, when I played it. I also can't oversell just how much luck was involved for me to beat the game. The last couple islands, and last dungeon, are completely ridiculous, even with a guide.
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ElkinFencer10
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Re: Together Retro: Eighties' Ladies' Night

by ElkinFencer10 Thu Mar 01, 2018 7:53 pm

prfsnl_gmr wrote:
ElkinFencer10 wrote:I'm going to be playing Phantasy Star this weekend, but my first game (which I'll post about once I write up a little review for it) is going to win Together Retro on Day One.


OMG!!! I’m not the only one playing Legend of the Ghost Lion?!!! SCREAM!!!!!

lol bitch you wish you were gonna win with that. My first game for this month's Together Retro is....

BEAT EM AND EAT EM

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Being me, of course I had to start things off raunchy with one of Mystique's infamous "adult" video games, Beat 'Em and Eat 'Em. For obvious reasons - partly Weebly's terms of service where I originally posted this review and partly so flake, popo, and maru don't castrate me - this will review will be sans screenshots.

Beat 'Em and Eat 'Em is, truthfully, nothing more than Kaboom! with porn shoved into it. Instead of a terrorist at the top of a building throwing bombs, there's a naked guy with a dick that's legit got to be at least 3 feet long and 9 inches in girl jerking off. Instead of playing as a basket that catches bomb, you play as a pair of large breasted women who catch semen. In their mouths. Yeah...Not exactly the most creative or original premise, but it works, I guess.

Being an Atari 2600 game, it's not exactly sporting impressive visuals, but you can clearly tell what everything is supposed to be (I'll leave it up to you whether that's a good thing or a bad thing). The game uses the paddle controllers and controls surprisingly well although not quite as well as Kaboom! Everything feels just a little touchy and overly sensitive compared to Kaboom!

Beat 'Em and Eat 'Em is certainly an interesting Kaboom! clone, and a pretty good one, but it's not the kind of game you necessarily want to play around people you don't know well, and it's certainly not a cheap game. For just the cartridge, you'd be looking at $50 to $60, and if you're going for the complete box, you can expect to pay anywhere from $80 to $200 depending on condition and how many are listed at the time. It's really not good for much other than a quirky "wtf" collection piece which is why I have a copy. Or if you're just into SUPER pixelated porn. I mean, if that's your thing, you do you.
Exhuminator wrote:Ecchi lords must unite for great justice.

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Xeogred
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Re: Together Retro: Eighties' Ladies' Night

by Xeogred Thu Mar 01, 2018 8:17 pm

dunpeal2064 wrote:That first post is so quality it hurts.

I plan to make wrongs right and finally play through The Guardian Legend this month. I think I can squeeze in some other games, but we'll start with one for now.

Leaning towards this too. It's always given me Blaster Master vibes from screenshots.
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chupon
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Re: Together Retro: Eighties' Ladies' Night

by chupon Thu Mar 01, 2018 8:57 pm

Amazing OP! Wish I made more time for games these days but just have other priorities.

Wanted to chime in and say Legacy of the Wizard is legit my favorite NES game. I LOVE the music. The labrynthian concept. The colors! It's top notch - total package and the game is one of many in a series of sequels and ports. I'd recommend everyone read the HG101 write up on the series. Really great stuff.

Guardian Legend, Metroid are also wonderful total full blown package games. Highly recommended.

While I've beaten those two - I've still never beaten Legacy of the Wizard on NES. Probably because I've never cheated. If I can find my elementary school hand drawn map for it I'll scan and upload. It was on graph paper - many pages with colored pencils and is a serious work of art. Anyways - I've three crowns. Could never find the forth boss.

Seeing you all play this masterpiece makes me so happy. I hope it brings joy to you all and not frustration.

Seriously - thank you for playing Legacy of the Wizard!
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Sarge
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Re: Together Retro: Eighties' Ladies' Night

by Sarge Thu Mar 01, 2018 9:40 pm

I love Blaster Master, but I think The Guardian Legend is superior. It's one of my legit favorite games on the system. Lots of Compile goodness. Also, if you hate the overhead sections (at which point I will question your taste), then the password "TGL" will get you to an all-shooter mode.
Hardcore Retro Gaming - Talk about games ten years old or older!
“History isn't just the story of bad people doing bad things. It's quite as much a story of people trying to do good things. But somehow, something goes wrong.” -- C.S. Lewis
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BoneSnapDeez
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Re: Together Retro: Eighties' Ladies' Night

by BoneSnapDeez Thu Mar 01, 2018 10:07 pm

pierrot wrote:
BoneSnapDeez wrote:I'm probably going to start with Valkyrie no Bouken on Famicom.

I know you're a boss, Bone, but if you were planning on playing this one blind, with no outside help, you're in for a bad time. It didn't take too long for me to go running, screaming, to a guide, when I played it. I also can't oversell just how much luck was involved for me to beat the game. The last couple islands, and last dungeon, are completely ridiculous, even with a guide.


Yeah..... I just completed the first "continent" and things are... interesting, to say the least. I get a strong Hydlide vibe from this one. Janky and cryptic. Also, unless I'm wrong there doesn't seem to be any real way to "continue" after death, besides entering a password upon being booted back to the title screen. So I've been making sure to jot those down every time I visit an inn, which is rather irritating.

Oh, and this is one of the few Famicom games I own with the box. I noticed that it came with a sheet of three end labels -- one was peeled off and affixed to the cart by the previous owner. Anyone know if this is unique to Namco Famicom titles? I have several Namco games with no end labels. I always figured they fell off eventually, on account of these games being 30 years old, but now I'm thinking they were never applied in the first place.
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Exhuminator
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Re: Together Retro: Eighties' Ladies' Night

by Exhuminator Thu Mar 01, 2018 10:41 pm

ElkinFencer10 wrote:Beat 'Em and Eat 'Em.

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Sarge wrote:I love Blaster Master, but I think The Guardian Legend is superior.

I agree with this man. I only beat The Guardian Legend for the first time myself just a few years ago. So this isn't nostalgia talking; The Guardian Legend kicks ass.

chupon wrote:Wish I made more time for games these days but just have other priorities.

One thing TR is good for is allowing folks to vicariously enjoy classics. I hope this thread does not disappoint you.
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Markies
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Re: Together Retro: Eighties' Ladies' Night

by Markies Thu Mar 01, 2018 10:57 pm

As long as I don't have another week like this one, then here is hoping I get to play some Final Fantasy II (NES) at the end of this month.

Until then, I will enjoy that beautiful first post and watching the posts in this thread!

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Exhuminator
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Re: Together Retro: Eighties' Ladies' Night

by Exhuminator Fri Mar 02, 2018 3:13 pm

Well, I beat my first game for this TR:

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Dirty Pair: Project Eden for the FDS.

Female protagonists? Yes! Made in the '80s? Yes!
Good game? Yes! NO. The polar opposite of awesome.
I like the anime film okay, but not this game.
Full review here.

Oh well, they can't all be jams folks.
But things should only get better from here! (I hope.)
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BoneSnapDeez
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Re: Together Retro: Eighties' Ladies' Night

by BoneSnapDeez Fri Mar 02, 2018 4:55 pm

That game blows.
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