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Jagosaurus
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Re: The 2016 October Horror Marathon

by Jagosaurus Sun Oct 30, 2016 4:02 pm

Ack wrote:GENTLEMEN! IT IS FINISHED. 31 HORROR MOVIES IN 31 DAYS.

I will do write ups for the final two movies tomorrow, including one I watched in honor of Michi. But for now, the marathon concludes.


:shock:
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I watched 2 more family friendlies. Will update those, as well as whatever I dive into tonight.
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Xeogred
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Re: The 2016 October Horror Marathon

by Xeogred Sun Oct 30, 2016 4:38 pm

Guys I'm not going to lie, it feels like Halloween 4 and Child's Play 3 killed my movie binge in its tracks. :lol:

Haven't watched anything since the 20th.
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Re: The 2016 October Horror Marathon

by Jagosaurus Sun Oct 30, 2016 11:12 pm

Any body else carve a pumpkin this year? Here's my jack-o-lantern I just finished. Witches are out this year.

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Re: The 2016 October Horror Marathon

by noiseredux Mon Oct 31, 2016 8:56 am

I actually did a really bad job keeping track of movies watched this year since the majority of them were ones that we had seen before and were put on kind of "in the background" while we were doing other things. Shrug.

We went to a costume party on Saturday - I was Clark Kent and my wife was Poison Ivy. And we carved jack-o-lanterns last night. Tonight we'll be handing out candy and watching the Halloween marathon I'm sure.
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Re: The 2016 October Horror Marathon

by Ack Mon Oct 31, 2016 10:17 am

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30. Class of 1999

In the distant future of 1999, street gangs have carved out free fire zones that cops will not enter around schools in major cities. These gangs, armed with automatic weapons and explosives, act as their own form of law in these lawless territories, where they murder, rape, pillage, abuse drugs, and do whatever else they want. The government does not like this, so the local school board of Seattle joins forces with the Department of Education and Defense as well as a private company to unveil the latest in education technology: military robots converted into teachers to handle both education and punishment. When the robots inevitably buck their typical programming and revert to war settings to kill off the gangs, it's up to a small group of street kids to take them out.

First of all, that is an awesome idea for a movie. Second of all, the killer robots here are played by the likes of John P. Ryan, Patrick Kilpatrick, and the always wonderful Pam Grier. While the movie gets 1999 incredibly wrong(it was released in 1990, so no Internet), it's a gritty cyberpunk future that has a tinge of the post-apocalyptic that I love. Escape from New York, 2019: After the Fall of New York, 1990: Bronx Warriors, Split Second...it's this kind of movie, and it fits right in with a lot of other popcorn flicks I have adored over the years.

The film is a sequel to Class of 1984, though in name and central themes only. As far as I can tell, there are no direct connections between the two films outside of punk gangs and inner city schools, and while in 1984 it was a hero teacher against killer students, now it's hero punk gangs against killer teachers and Stacy Keach's mullet. Yes, Stacy Keach has a dyed mullet in this movie. No, I don't know why.

Anyway, this is occasionally a quite violent movie, with teachers cutting up or blowing up students from time to time. One guy even gets pulled through a wall and ripped in half in one particularly awesome moment. Man, the future of education is awesome.

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31. Puppet Master 6: Curse of the Puppet Master

This one's for Michi.

Michi wrote:I’ve heard that the further along the sequels go, the worse they get, so I’ll just be sticking to the first three. I’ll leave the dregs of anything beyond that to Ack.


You actually watched the first five, so here's Puppet Master 6 for you!

Let me start this off by saying that I own 9 of the currently 12(and possibly 13 if Puppet Master: The Littlest Reich ever comes out) Puppet Master movies. I have also never watched any of them. So of course I totally decided to hop in where Michi left off, in the midst of the sewage that is any long-running horror franchise post-"final chapter" film.

In Puppet Master 6, the puppets find themselves in the hands of Dr. Magrew, who runs a cabinet of curiosities and believes the puppets represent the absolute perfect being. To this aim, he hires a local orphan nicknamed Tank who is perhaps mentally challenged but a savant with a carving knife and has him create a puppet. Unfortunately Tank has some enemies in a group of local douche bag bullies, and he's also incredibly muscular in a way that Dr. Magrew's daughter is totally into. Plus there's a jerk sheriff who thinks Dr. Magrew may be involved in his previous assistant's disappearance, and he's not above committing a few acts of police brutality to prove it.

There are numerous problems with this movie. First and foremost, it spends all its time focusing on the budding relationship between Tank and Dr. Magrew's daughter...a relationship I do not care about and find somewhat creepy and awkward. Tank comes across like that Simple Jack joke in Tropic Thunder, and I kept expecting him to swat at butterflies with a mallet and ask why his eyes rain.

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Our hero.

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I wish I was kidding about that Simple Jack joke.

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I really wish I was.

Second, not only are the puppets more in the background, but they only get to kill a few people. This horror movie has a body count of 4 officially, and it ends as the fourth person is dying. While the deaths are generally quite bloody(Michi mentioned Tunneler not usually getting blood on his drill. He totally does here), they're over pretty quick and for the most part performed by Blade and Tunneler...though Jester joins in on one, apparently making it the first time he ever actually kills someone. Still, the highlight of this one is Tunneler teaching one of the douchebag bullies why he shouldn't rape by going straight for his groin. Nasty.

So yeah, creepy relationships, few deaths, and poor pacing hamper this one. But what about the puppets? Well, this one only has the classics: Blade, Tunneler, Leech Woman, Jester, and Pinhead are here, along with Six Shooter. Torch and Decapitron are officially out of the series at this point. There are two new puppets, but one is a throw away to reveal what happened to the old assistant.

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Didn't I see him in Hotline Miami?

And then there is the new puppet, the one that Tank was building and then supposedly gets turned into...and it has some serious problems. I watched Tank build this puppet throughout the movie. I watched him carve its feet, work on its legs, and shape its wooden body. So how in the hell did it end up with tank treads and a TV screen for a head? Having seen pictures of the various puppets over the years, I am happy to report that the Tank puppet is the dumbest design of the series:

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Obey.

Just look at that. Let it soak in. Better yet, here's another, heavily pixelated look at it:

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I scowl into your soul.

WHAT THE HELL?! HE CARVED FREAKING FEET FOR IT YOU DOLT! YOU SHOWED US THAT HE WAS CARVING FEET!

Anyway, Tank fights with magical shitty post-production lightning. It looks like the kind of lightning you would find on a Geocities website next to a bunch of spinning unicorn gifs. Class of 1999 showed us a late 1990s that could have been. This was the actual late-90s that we got. Tank is the AOL of the Puppet Master series: somebody at the time thought this was a good idea and now everyone universally recognizes it was shit.

I look forward to watching more Puppet Master movies in the future...and making fun of them.

31/31

1. Late Phases
2. Ghoulies
3. Nightbeast
4. Tombs of the Blind Dead
5. Return of the Blind Dead
6. The Ghost Galleon
7. Night of the Seagulls
8. Chopping Mall
9. Bad Moon
10. C.H.U.D. II: Bud the C.H.U.D.
11. Dead Heat
12. Varan the Unbelievable
13. The Milpitas Monster
14. Shock
15. Kingdom of the Spiders
16. Ghoulies II
17. Waxwork
18. The Curse of the Werewolf
19. Island of Lost Souls
20. Child's Play
21. Merlin's Shop of Mystical Wonders
22. Jack Frost
23. Howling II: Your Sister is a Werewolf
24. 976-EVIL II
25. Zoltan, Hound of Dracula
26. Ghoulies III: Ghoulies Go to College
27. Uninvited
28. Troll 2
29. Monster in the Closet
30. Class of 1999
31. Puppet Master 6: Curse of the Puppet Master
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I have a movie review website now: https://moviereviewsbyamook.com/
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Re: The 2016 October Horror Marathon

by J T Mon Oct 31, 2016 1:21 pm

Last night my wife and I dressed up as vampires and went to this amazing aerial acrobatic show that was about different mythologies related to vampirism and meditations on death. There were Hungarian, Slavic, Japanese, and other traditional tales about people who became immortal, but at a price to their humanity. It was an elaborately decorated dessert show, with about 15 tables, and 3-4 people at a table. Everything was decorated in blacks, and reds, with white lace. There were many candles lit. The music was a unique score from a local gothic musician, and a woman who had a beautifully haunted singing voice.The performers used spinning hoops and giant silk scarves hanging from the ceiling to do their acrobatics, and danced and acted their performances in the center of the dining hall. The movements were graceful and lovely, though everything was presented in a morose and sinister manner for the subject matter. It was an unforgettable evening.

Photography was not allowed, but you can see some past highlights of the aerial troupe here:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AvcdbkLj2JU
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Re: The 2016 October Horror Marathon

by Michi Mon Oct 31, 2016 11:05 pm

Well, it's Halloween night and I'm sitting here watching all the horror movies airing on TCM. I may watch something else in a little bit just for a change of pace, though.

Finished watching Ash vs. Evil Dead. It was everything I expected it to be, and I mean that in a good way. Lots of blood, lots of death, lots of Ash-isms, lost of Lucy Lawless. A+, will watch again. I do wish they hadn't ended the first season where they did, but I guess they wanted people to come back for the second season. I'll probably buy it when it comes out.

As for it's connection to the films, it did indeed bring up scenes from both the first and the second film, but not Army of Darkness. So after watching the whole first season and going through some mental gymnastics trying to piece everything together, I gave up and have come to the conclusion that several elements of the show remain inconsistent. But it's no where near as inconsistant as the Puppet Master franchise, so I'll deal :P

Oh, and I carved my pumpkin tonight.

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Metroid. Nom Nom.

My only complaint is that the skin of this sucker is a little thicker than usual, so it's kind of hard to see it glowing in the dark. That or I need to buy myself a stronger light to put in there.

Ack wrote:31. Puppet Master 6: Curse of the Puppet Master

This one's for Michi.

.....

WHAT THE HELL?! HE CARVED FREAKING FEET FOR IT YOU DOLT! YOU SHOWED US THAT HE WAS CARVING FEET!

:lol: Yes, know my pain. This series not only has trouble staying consistent from movie to movie, but also consistent within the same film. I envy you not for starting where I left off.

Also, to clarify, you do see Tunneler with blood on him during the films, but until the 4th film, he was always miraculously clean two seconds later. For instance, in the 3rd film he drills right through the torso of a Nazi. Blood everywhere. He's literally drenched in the stuff. Seconds later, Toulon is running off with his puppets and Tunneler's spotless. Not a drop of blood anywhere on him. I guess I'm supposed to assume from the 4th film that Pinhead is some sort of pint-sized cousin of Mr. Clean or something.
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Re: The 2016 October Horror Marathon

by noiseredux Mon Oct 31, 2016 11:17 pm

Nice pumpkin!
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Michi
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Re: The 2016 October Horror Marathon

by Michi Mon Oct 31, 2016 11:27 pm

Thanks :)
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Re: The 2016 October Horror Marathon

by J T Tue Nov 01, 2016 12:38 am

Incredible Metroid! :D


It's no Michi work of art, but here's my pumpkin.

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