racketboy.com

Dropped my therapist. Think it's for the best, because I just wasn't connecting with this one, but now I'm questioning if even going is worth it- this last one, like the first, didn't know how to help because I don't want to change anything. So I still should go, but what's the point if I won't try? Plus all the BS with finding a new one...

Maybe it would be a good idea to consider changing something. Keeping things as they are doesn't seem to be working out, after all.

I'm just stuck at the point where, even if I change, I feel like I'm so out of whack with the rest of humanity it won't matter. Outside of therapy stuff, the only advice anyone can give is "get a job" or "get out of the house". I'm having no luck with jobs at all, I'm getting rejected from retail and fast food joints. And I can't get out of the house- I have no money and no friends, there's nothing to do outside my house right now.

And even if I truly could fix it all, my biggest wants are not something I'll ever get, so... why try?

Even if there’s a 99% chance of nothing if you try, there’s a 100% chance of nothing I’d you don’t. If you aren’t trying then you will definitely miss any opportunities that become available.

Which is not to say I don’t understand how you feel. I’ve been staying in a job that I haven’t been happy with, that’s been putting my stress levels through the roof, for too long and not looking for other options because I really hate all the work I put in only to feel the sting of rejection. But it is finally time. I need to stop letting opportunities, even the ones I probably won’t get, pass me by. Nothing will change if I do nothing. I guess I just have to feel desperate enough to be willing to risk the rejection I hate and fear so much.

Nearly went to a friend's house to dog-sit while they went out with another friend for dinner yesterday, but their friend called off so I got to just come over and play games for a few hours. We played some Night Slashers (which has absolutely justified the $8 I paid for it after that X3) and some Super Mario Party. Tons of fun ^w^
I also talked up Vampyr a bunch to them, and they really want me to bring it over sometime so they can see it in action, so I guess we'll be hanging out again sooner than later

PartridgeSenpai wrote:Vampyr

My thoughts on modern gaming are unambiguous, but that one looks kinda cool. Will get it on Switch, I suppose. I like vampire-themed stuff in general.

(Was Remember Me any good??)

marurun wrote:Even if there’s a 99% chance of nothing if you try, there’s a 100% chance of nothing I’d you don’t. If you aren’t trying then you will definitely miss any opportunities that become available.

Which is not to say I don’t understand how you feel. I’ve been staying in a job that I haven’t been happy with, that’s been putting my stress levels through the roof, for too long and not looking for other options because I really hate all the work I put in only to feel the sting of rejection. But it is finally time. I need to stop letting opportunities, even the ones I probably won’t get, pass me by. Nothing will change if I do nothing. I guess I just have to feel desperate enough to be willing to risk the rejection I hate and fear so much.

No, I totally understand where you are coming from- I've heard it many times over. I get it, I just need motivation. Problem is, I need help figuring out the current motivation. If I was married or had kids I'd be easy to motivate, but I don't, so figuring out how to convince myself to do it is the issue.

I haven't been online much lately. The landlord sold my home. I need to find a new place to live before the end of the year. Christmas plans are basically cancelled. All my time and money goes into finding a new home.

I took a third job to help me save up money for a down payment. Now I work overnight sorting packages for Amazon. I'm about one week in. So far it's a pretty brainless job, but it pays pretty decent. I'm making $15/hour doing manual work. I've actually found myself enjoying it sometimes; a little exercise helps me enjoy the job. There are also problems with under qualified supervisors here (likely caused by the high turnover rate).

I'm also still working my regular weekday morning job supervising people with disabilities in the work place. I'm still working weekends at the radio station too. This new job is on top of everything else.

I'm tired, guys. I'm so tired. I can't quit because I need the money.

I also went to a meeting with a recruiter last week. She's helping me apply for two jobs in web design and one job in web development. That's the field I really want to work in. Wish me luck!

Dang samson! Hope things turn around for you soon and those recruiters find something that's a good fit.

BoneSnapDeez wrote:

PartridgeSenpai wrote:Vampyr

My thoughts on modern gaming are unambiguous, but that one looks kinda cool. Will get it on Switch, I suppose. I like vampire-themed stuff in general.

(Was Remember Me any good??)

I just finished it tonight and I'll have a review of it up sometime tomorrow. It's really good
It's like if Yakuza and Bloodborne had some kind of odd child but instead of Lovecraft it's vampires. I really love the vampire lore they've made for themselves, and honestly I'd love another game in the franchise someday ^w^

From what I recall, Remember Me was recieved as a game that didn't quite reach its full potential. It had a good premise but never quite reached a point where it really mattered. I owned it at one point, but never got around to playing it. Perhaps I shall try to hunt it down again someday. I believe that is a far more linear game than Vampyr though, which has a much more Yakuza-y kinda open world city it takes place in with lots of side questy goodies among it.