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Re: Maru, Son of Ortega: A Dragon Quest III Story

by prfsnl_gmr Wed Apr 07, 2021 10:50 am

marurun wrote:The townspeople also tell you where you might find that pesky Magic Key: a place called, quite unfortunately, Assaram.


:lol: :lol: :lol:

I love it, especially coming from some pone named Lewd Maru. I’d tell you to “keep it up,” but you’d probably take that the wrong way too. :lol:
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Re: Maru, Son of Ortega: A Dragon Quest III Story

by marurun Wed Apr 07, 2021 1:11 pm

prfsnl_gmr wrote:
marurun wrote:The townspeople also tell you where you might find that pesky Magic Key: a place called, quite unfortunately, Assaram.


:lol: :lol: :lol:

I love it, especially coming from some pone named Lewd Maru. I’d tell you to “keep it up,” but you’d probably take that the wrong way too. :lol:


Ah, and I have erred! This is what I get for using a guide to help refresh my memory for all the stuff I did LESS THAN 12 HOURS AGO. Assaram is the NES name. In the Gameboy Color version it is Ashalam.
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Re: Maru, Son of Ortega: A Dragon Quest III Story

by prfsnl_gmr Wed Apr 07, 2021 1:17 pm

Village Elder: “Brave travelers! The key is in Assatam!”

Lewd Maru: “Wait...Where?”

Village Elder: “ASSARAM! ASSARAM, I SAID!”

Lewd Maru: <chuckles> “He said ASSARAM...” <chuckles>

Lazy Ack: <chuckles>

Sexy Pidge: <rolls eyes>
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Re: Maru, Son of Ortega: A Dragon Quest III Story

by Ack Wed Apr 07, 2021 1:50 pm

Great, I look forward to getting to Assram. I hear the villagers there are...nice, ifyougetmymeaningandIknowyoudo.
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Re: Maru, Son of Ortega: A Dragon Quest III Story

by marurun Thu Apr 08, 2021 3:29 pm

Maru and the Merry Misfits are still at it, finally remembering to go fetch the King of Romaly's crown from Kandar in the Tower of ShanPane. Seems all that adventuring has lead to some nice pecs and abs, and the tower turns out to be a picnic (in a relative sense). The team corners Kandar at the top of the tower only for him to throw open a trap door under their feet. When they rush back up he is gone! Pidg thinks fast (high AGL, yo!) and they all leap down the back of the tower and catch Kandar on the way out. Maru and Company soften them up and Ack provides cleanup. The crown is theirs! They head back to Romaly and the King is so happy he wants Maru to take his place. Maru, not being that particular type of fool, turns him down 5 times before the King finally backs off his pressure campaign to escape his life of responsibility. But with the crown recovered the Merry Misfits can now venture east in search of the Magic Key. To Ashalam, where they discover more excuses to drop fat stacks on gear, more XP to grind, some 8-bit RPG dancers, and HellCrabs.

In Ashalam, Maru hears that the Magic Key is in a pyramid in the desert, but is encouraged to stop in the oasis town of Isis along the way. After chatting up the attractive (or so the handmaidens say, it's like an 8x8 sprite) Isis Queen they find the Starry Bracelet, which doubles AGL. Maru briefly considers lending it to Ack, but Ack's AGL is so low it wouldn't actually do anything for his combat performance, so Popo gets the speed boost while Maru browbeats Lazy Ack into working on his AGL in the meantime. After some more grinding and gear buying, the party heads to the pyramid and continues the tradition of those who came before by plundering everything that hasn't already been stolen by thieves. After recovering the Magic Key the Misfits add insult to injury by plundering every single mummy-guarded chest on the next floor up and handily surviving. Now flush with cash and salable items the party is eager to head back west to Romaly. But wait... They have a Magic Key and a Return spell that lets them visit previous castles and towns. Time to loot some royal treasuries blind. The team takes this excuse to buy the best equipment possible and are decked out as best they can be. They are cruel and awesome adventurers, ready to dish out and be laid low in turn, because this game is not going to actually let them buy gear that's too good.

Finally exhausted from all the plundering, the team crawls, bedraggled, back to Romaly and then westward to the gate to Portoga, where yet another petty King insists they venture out to fetch him some... pepper. How do these fuckers get in charge of kingdoms? A letter of recommendation in hand, the team returns back far east to Ashalam, and then to a cave, where they read the King's functionally adequate but not at all interesting prose to convince Norud the hobbit to beat a hole in a cave wall with his head (presumably, the tiny sprite just rams the wall a few times). Through this hole is a short passage to the other side of the mountains and yet another town, where hopefully they can just buy pepper so this King on the other side of the continent will give them a ship.

...
..............................

Oh, did I not mention the ship before? That's because in Portoga someone suggested that you could go just about anywhere with a ship. No, this is not that kind of RPG. You go where folks tell you because there's stuff to do. Stop arguing with me. You're still giggling about Assaram, aren't you. We already cleaned up that mess. Good lord, now you're giggling even harder. I'm not doing this for my own amusement, you know (ed. note: that is a complete and total lie).
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Re: Maru, Son of Ortega: A Dragon Quest III Story

by Ack Thu Apr 08, 2021 7:48 pm

Oh damn, we're Misfits now? I get to be Doyle.

Also...who hid this key? Seriously, why is it inside a pyramid through a tower beyond the desert? It should have been kept by the bedside table.
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Re: Maru, Son of Ortega: A Dragon Quest III Story

by marurun Thu Apr 08, 2021 8:46 pm

Probably the pharaoh in the pyramid. I guess it was his key? And for some reason there are locked doors all over that require it that nobody has been able to open until Maru comes along with it in tow.
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Re: Maru, Son of Ortega: A Dragon Quest III Story

by marurun Mon Apr 12, 2021 3:05 pm

Maru, Ack, Pidg, and Popo emerge from a mountainous passage into the light of day and venture south to Baharata, where they are informed that the only shop that sells pepper is now closed because the shopkeeper's daughter has been kidnapped. When Maru & Co offer to help, the kidnapped daughter's boyfriend decides to go save her himself, because something something masculine insecurity. The party ventures out after the idiot and after freeing the two find out that their good pal Kandar was the kidnapper. You know, Kandar, the one they fought in the Tower of ShanPane. See, the Maru Cru didn't kill Kandar. They beat him down and then let him go after he handed over the crown and promised to reform. Seems his promise didn't stick, so the Cru beat him down again. At the point of Pidg's claw he begs for mercy, and for some reason the Cru are unable to say no. Literally unable, as if the universe denied them that option. Upon returning to Baharata Maru is given pepper as their reward for freeing the captured lovers. But the Maru Cru also hear of a shrine up north, called Dhama, where one can change their class. The Cru venture forth to take a peek and discover they are not ready, so they return to Portoga to claim their ship.

Once they lay claim to an ocean-going vessel, Maru cannot resist the urge to explore, so he drags everyone else along. While chilling in the crow's nest Ack spots a shrine within sight of Portoga and makes the mistake of sharing, ruining nap time. So now they have somewhere to go instead of just being a party barge. In the shrine an old man advises Maru of what's to the south and mentions 6 orbs that will let Maru go anywhere. Yes, within moments of getting a ship that opens up large portions of the world, Maru is told this is inadequate and what he really needs are 6 orbs. FML. Heading south, as day turns to night, the Maru Cru discover a nearly destroyed town which is still inhabited. They ransack the place and learn that there is a Final Key out there in the world somewhere and they will need to go further east and south to Lancel to find it. They then spend the night in the Inn and wake up in the morning to discover that the town is actually deserted, and only skeletons, and apparently apparitions at night, remain after the town's destruction. The Cru find a Dark Lamp which changes day to night on command, which is presumably how they would have discovered this town's hidden night club scene in other circumstances. There's some dude in a jail who wants to give away his orb, but during the day he's just a skeleton and at night there's a guard blocking the hole in the wall. Apparently the Final Key will be needed to get in and get the orb.

The Cru venture onward to Lancel and find the Navel of the World nearby, which they promptly ignore. They suit up on new equipment in Lancel and are motivated by somehow having some cash left to revisit some overpriced haggling merchants in Ashalam in search of rare offerings. Ack is finally motivated to get off his ass by some fancy Gold bling and turn to the Lewd side for better stat development. Only Popo is not totally onboard with the new majority perv party. At this point the Maru Cru are getting close to being beefy enough to change classes and start over, so they head back to Dhama to level up a bit in the hills nearby hunting elusive Metal slimes. They also learn a nearby tower has a mysterious Zen book that will allow someone to change to the Sage class, which is basically Priest + Wizard. Popo encourages (at staff-point) Maru to take him to the tower and retrieve the book. After much adventuring Popo successfully makes the transition to Sage and has to start over at level 1. That means more hunting of Metal slimes to try and get him up to speed. Luckily, even though level resets to 1, stats and HP/MP are only halved and Popo can still use all his beefy gear, so even at level 12 or so he's already mostly back in the game. Ack and Pidg start wondering if maybe they aren't missing out and mull over whether they, too, need a change of pace.
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Re: Maru, Son of Ortega: A Dragon Quest III Story

by Ack Mon Apr 12, 2021 9:24 pm

What, I can't be lazy AND lewd?
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Re: Maru, Son of Ortega: A Dragon Quest III Story

by marurun Tue Apr 13, 2021 9:50 am

Ack wrote:What, I can't be lazy AND lewd?


Hey, I didn't make the rules.
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